Everybody was pretty much partying, fueled by I mean really [music] cocaine and cigarettes
And they said you have to wear Spanx
I was like, "I'm not wearing Spanx." I hate Sex and the City
It's not like the TV show
So then the question is did I did I have sex with him? And then the answer is no because I had sex with this Calvin Klein underwear model. >> Hi angels
Welcome back to Booked, Blonde, and Busy because hot girls read and my name is Olivia Ponton and today we're joined by one of the hottest girls to exist
We are interviewing Miss Candace Bushnell and she is the author of Sex and the City
Sex and the City is iconic
She's iconic, so let's get into it
Candace, welcome to Booked, Blonde, and Busy. >> I'm so thrilled to be here. >> Me too
So we're going to start off with the beverage of the day
Obviously, in Carrie Bradshaw fashion, we had to do a cosmopolitan because well, I feel like she always has a drink in her hand and I feel like this was the most embodiment of her
So this is a virgin one because it is like 10:00 in the morning right now, but this is our little cosmo
I'm going to give it a little taste test
I love it
Yep, cranberry juice and Sprite
It's good. >> [snorts] >> Taste just like it
Yes
Okay. [laughter] Well, do you actually like cosmopolitans? >> I do. >> Really? Was that your drink of choice? >> Uh well, I always drank uh vodka cranberries, but then I was at this bar with Bret Easton Ellis and I feel like it was in probably 1993 and he he said, "Oh, this cosmopolitan, it's the newest drink." And then we were always drinking cosmopolitans, but they had to be made with fresh lime juice
That is the key
Fresh lime juice
It can't be >> little bottle bottled stuff, okay. >> can't be the What is it? Limes or >> Yeah, they have like some little thingy. >> Okay
Bret Easton Ellis and Jay McInerney were >> Mhm. >> You know, we always like hung out, went to a lot of clubs. >> In the '90s
Did you guys like Did you guys like get inspiration off of each other? Like was it that almost? >> everybody was really inspired by New York City and what they were seeing in in New York City and um you know, the social life
I call it social anthropology
Uh which is [clears throat] what I think that the book Sex and the City is
It's really social anthropology
And you know, just this drive that New Yorkers have for status and how there's such a pecking order in New York City
And you know, I would say that fashion would be pretty much at the top of that heap in terms of enforcing status
But everybody knows Everybody who lives in New York understands it
Everybody who goes to a party knows like, "Oh, here's a person of higher status who I'm going to talk to." But they're looking over your shoulder to see who else is of importance, who's there
So, and it's it's really it's not anything that's new
You know, it was Bonfire of the Vanities. >> Well, that kind of goes right into my first question
You set me up perfectly because I moved here when I was 19
You moved here when you were 19
You're talking about this order and I feel like it's it's still prevalent in the in the going out world
When I'm going to parties, it's constantly I would say here in Los Angeles almost
LA a little bit more, but you're right
It's like this kind of unspoken rule where it's like this person, you know, people kind of revolve their night around if this famous person or is in the room
But it doesn't even have to be about fame, it could be about money or just the quote unquote like status of it all
So, what was like a night out when you were like 19? Kind of walk me through that. >> Well, I actually this is one of the reasons why I do my one-woman show
Um it actually starts when I first came to New York
And actually I first came to New York when I was 18. >> Um but I didn't stay and I decided to move here when I was 19
Um but like in those days everybody tried to go to Studio 54
So, that was the place to go
And uh and before that, there was a restaurant in 1/5 Avenue. >> Okay. >> And it was called 1/5. >> Mhm. >> It was where everybody went and you went at 10:00 at night
And and then you went to Studio 54
You really didn't go there before midnight
And then you would be there from like midnight to 4:00 a.m
And then there was this other place called the Mud Club
Mud [snorts] that people went to that was on White Street
I don't know how I remember that. >> Yeah. >> And uh God, you know, and there were like you know, rocks kind of like rock stars, et cetera, would be there. [clears throat] And and it was you know, it was fun. >> Mhm
And so uh I love asking these types of questions
So, you guys didn't really have like cell phones like how we have nowadays
So, when you're coordinating these plans, like how would you coordinate them or was it a thing like every single Saturday that was the pipeline? Like you'd start at dinner, then you'd go to Studio 54, and then you'd end up there? Or what was that kind of dynamic between it? >> In the very late '70s, early '80s, there were people and they would hand out cards on um like little flyers that were about this big, you know, advertising a new club or a party, and people would go
And and so, it was really word of mouth
But even then, people would have a schedule
Like on Monday night, you would go to this particular club
You know, Tuesday night, this was the hot place to go that, you know, everybody would go
There was some kind of um you know, it was like an unspoken kind of massing of people
Like they would just kind of know where to go
And and then that was the same in the '90s
I remember Bret Easton Ellis, he had a big like a big white board >> [clears throat] >> in his apartment, and he would write down all of the things that he had to go to every night
And I people would go you would go out pretty much every single night
I think I stayed home one night a month. >> Holy crap
So, when you were going out, this is just a genuine question, would you like seriously partying every night or was it just more like fun casual? Like you'd go to like hang out at like a bar or like a lounge or was it always something that was very like intense and high energy? >> Well, I mean, everybody was pretty much partying all the time, you know, fueled by I mean, really cocaine and cigarettes. >> That's crazy. >> And vodka
But, you know, a typical night was you know, have 20 drinks, >> Holy crap. >> like a couple grams of coke, [laughter] and probably like two packs of cigarettes. >> Holy craps. >> That was not an unusual night
Yes, [laughter] and somebody is not Yes
I mean, everybody like everybody smoked. >> Yeah. >> I did [clears throat] not know in the '90s, I did not know one person who didn't smoke. >> But, like that it was more common cuz nowadays in New York City, people are quite in restaurants and like lounges, hotels, clubs, they're quite strict about smoking inside
And there's been multiple times where I have some friends who are heavy, heavy smokers, and they just get they get really at it with the with like the bartenders or the restaurant people cuz they'll try lighting up and they'll be like, "No, you need to leave." And then it's like, "Okay, well, we're at a dinner." They step outside every 20 minutes to go and smoke a cigarette
And I'm like, "Well, why can't we just all do it inside so we can keep on hanging out?" >> Exactly
So, it was definitely a a different time
And, you know, now with you know, you know, social media and um you know, the cell phone, you know, people are you know, there are more things to do at home
You can entertain yourself better at home than you used to be able to
Like, you know, everybody had a tiny little apartment
There was really no TV
I mean, yes, there was cable, but >> [sighs] >> you know, people were always stealing cable, and it just like TV wasn't a big thing
It was like, "Why?" I didn't know anybody who stayed at home and watched TV in in the early '90s, certainly. >> I >> wish I was born in that generation because sometimes when people are on their phones too much it really bothers me and I'm like or when we're at a dinner and everyone's on their phones and I'm like, well, the whole point of us being here is to hang out
So, why are we all on our phones? [laughter] You know what I mean? Well, speaking of social media obviously Sex and the City both the book and the TV show, it's all about meeting strangers and having these just like crazy stories that are happening with them
Do you think that still exists currently like in this day and age or do you think that social media has kind of killed it? >> Oh, I think it exists 100%
I mean, maybe it's because of the things that I look at on Instagram and Tik Tok but my feed is so full of men and women telling their horrendous dating stories and talking about like relationships or just a bunch of bunk and you know, which which is something that I never heard before
I'd never heard women admitting that, you know, maybe a heterosexual relationship with a man is not that great
I noticed this starting about five years ago and you know, women have always told themselves this lie about romance and and men and it's like they have a veil. >> Mhm. >> And probably that veil is hormones. [laughter] >> Okay, I want to talk about the book because this is published in 1996, right? >> Yes. >> This it's it's a beautiful book
It's a bunch of columns that you have written over the years that are just kind of shoved into one beautiful book. >> Well, actually it was all of the columns that I wrote in the New York Observer
So, it's really a collection of those columns and the what the publisher did was he took all of the columns and then he like kind of rearranged them, [laughter] but they were all still the same columns
And I did write more after that book was published because they wanted me to, but then some of those stories ended up in a book called Four Blondes
So, there was a story about Janie Wilcox, which who was the Victoria's Secret model, but it was really more about her uh you know, using men to get a house in the Hamptons, >> [laughter] >> etc. >> And I would like to say that is still a thing that people do
Yes, it's this time. >> Yes, but you know, I do I think one of the differences between now and then and I you know, one of the frustrations in life was that as a woman, you still pretty much needed a guy Mhm. to in a lot of ways financially survive. >> Mhm. >> And like yes, you made a little bit of money and you had a 9-to-5 job that you thought was pretty important, but those jobs paid like barely enough to cover the rent
So, women still were in this uh situation of feeling like I need a man, you know, financially to provide the things that I can't provide from my from myself
And that is still true today
I you know, I wrote another book called Is There Still Sex in the City, which came out in 2019 and I went on a date with this guy. >> Mhm. >> Now I call them the senior age players or SAPs
And they [laughter] are They all they want to do is have sex. >> Really? >> Yes
The It never goes away
This You know, the man >> Mhm. >> Like he's he's taking you out to dinner because he wants to have sex. >> [laughter] >> And how old do you think these guys are? >> They're 75, 80
I mean, there was like a 94-year-old guy who was like, "I want you to come to Palm Beach with me." I I was like, "No." And he said, "You can have your own room at first, but eventually you'll come into my room." And I was like, um you know, you're really nice and you're sharp as a tack, but no, it's not going to happen. >> No, it's not going [laughter] to happen
Oh my gosh. >> But it's just it's I guess it's part of the lifeblood. >> Yeah, I would say. >> Which I think is >> Mhm
It's cute
It's endearing. >> It's cute. >> So, do you still collect like little slices of story times? Like do you still write about those stories? Cuz obviously this this is all your personal. >> don't necessarily, but I am I mean, I do if I'm writing a book or now I'm working on an adaptation of one of my books, 1/5 Avenue, >> Mhm. >> for a TV series
So, we're working on the pilot
And And you know, last night I went to Carnegie I went to Carn- Carnegie Hall and it was beautiful and I wanted to send my writing partner a video >> Mhm. >> of, you know, what it looked like saying, "We need to include this." Like instead of them going to the opera, they should be going to Car- Carnegie Hall, and they should have like boxes, and you know, there's another scene in a restaurant where it's like the flowers should be huge, and they should have to like look around the flowers cuz it's comedic. >> How [clears throat] >> So yes, I am
I do still look for little snippets. >> How involved are you in like the writing processes? >> Like you know, it depends on the project. >> Okay. >> Um and Sex and the City, I worked in the writers' room for the first 2 years
Um which was kind of a different experience cuz I'm so used to working by myself
And if you're writing a novel, you it's like you are by yourself
There's nobody else who can do it, and you have to you know, figure out all the you know, questions yourself
Um then on Lipstick Jungle, I worked on the pilot like a couple of rounds, and then it didn't you know, it didn't work out, and then they hired these other two women, and I was like go and just do it
Just you know, go and do it
And and then with The Carrie Diaries, I was working on like 1/5 Avenue
I had like a lot of big writing contracts, so I didn't don't want to take the time and and you know, work on a script, which is a which can be a really long process
Um So it really depends on you know, the project
This for some reason, I really want to do it probably because I don't want to write a book because I just writing a book requires a huge amount of concentration
It's like six at least six hours a day, six days a week
Maybe actually 10 days in a row and then you can take a break
Um and I used to go to my house up in Connecticut and I was like really strict
I would be like I would take like one hour
Maybe I can come over for cocktails, but that's it
Just one hour. >> [gasps] >> And then I would go home and the rest of you know, pretty much all of my time was taken up in service of this book
Like writing it, making notes, reading things to spark the imagination and solve writing problems. >> We were talking about this earlier
What's or I guess who inspired Sex and the City or any of the any of any of your other books? >> Nobody
And and [laughter] like for some reason well and I talk about this in my one-woman show
When I was eight years old I had this epiphany moment
Like and it came to me I'm going to be a writer. >> Huh. >> And I have never veered from that which I sometimes think is maybe like kind of a dumb thing to do because I've been really single-minded about it
And you know, even when I didn't have money I would say like oh it doesn't matter because you know, I'm going to be a writer
I'm writing." And I felt like I could really live in probably circumstances that most people Yeah
Don't want to live in
Because I didn't care
I didn't really see my surroundings
And >> When you talk, I honestly really see a lot of Carrie in you
Like from different standpoints
Do you think you put yourself into each of the different Well, obviously that's in the show, but even in the book, do you think you like take little pieces? Did you influence yourself in any parts of it? Or did you write exactly what was happening around you? >> In Sex and the City, well, there were a couple of chapters that were fictional because I didn't I didn't I was like, "I'm kind of hungover. >> [laughter] >> You know, I don't feel like reporting." You know, the story, which is I would have to report that a story like every week
And a lot of it was gathering people together to talk about a topic
Um I So, there were a couple that were fiction, but a lot of it was really things that people said
And it's, you know, and then it's shaping it
Um But I think sort of like maybe one of the the things that's disturbing about the book to people is that, you know, these are real people who said really said these things
And these are real attitudes that people have
Not like something that's sugarcoated that as a novelist, people tend to do that because they don't want their characters to be unlikeable
I didn't care about that
Like I had my audience, so >> You This book is way darker than I was going to expect it to be. >> It's It's really It's It's is dark, definitely
But, you know, that's my writing
My writing is dark. >> And it's the real It's like the real things that happen and like you're saying like these are real things that real people are saying and as someone that lives in New York City and is like in the industry and is going out with these types of people, sometimes things that people say to me, I'm like, "Holy f- >> I know. >> Holy crap. [laughter] Like this is insane." >> I Do you know, it's like people aren't they're not that nice
Like if you're like if you're nice here, like I think I'm really nice
I'm like I don't get invited to anything, you know, or like >> [laughter and gasps] >> I feel like people enjoy the ruckus, people enjoy the drama, people want people around that have this kind of like unapologeticness to them. >> Yes. >> And I I just can't even Like do you process how big Sex and the City is? >> No, I >> You really don't? >> don't. >> That's so crazy. >> I mean, the one thing that I do know is And but this was years ago because I don't go to clubs anymore. >> Really? >> But, it used to be like if I went to a club, I could go up to the bouncer and say, "Hey, I wrote Sex and the City." And I could get in. >> Wow
Did you experience that fame when you were writing your column? >> Um yes, people knew about uh people knew about the column, they knew about me, they were reading, you know, the column was a big hit in the New York Observer
It was written for a very small audience
That's the other thing that I think people need to remember is that the you know, the audience of the New York Observer was maybe 50,000
That was the circulation. >> Really? >> It was It was really small and then somebody would say, "Well, it's the 50,000 people you want to be reading something." Um whatever that means
Um >> [laughter and gasps] >> So, it was and it was very insider
Like people knew who I was writing about
They hung out with them
They were bold-faced names
So, it was really uh it was a little bit The New York Observer was a little bit like our school newspaper. >> But would you I'm assuming you didn't use the people's like real names? >> I did not. >> Okay. >> No, I I didn't. >> Okay
That's good
That's good at least. >> lot of the time also people would come up to me and say, "Will you write about me?" Like I just saw something in New York magazine like a flashback to these three like super powerful publicists in I I guess that late '90s, early 2000s and um it was Lizzie Grubman uh [sighs] God, and this woman named Ali
I I never did know her last name
Um and oh God, Lara Shriftman
And Ali and Lara Shriftman came up to me
They were 25 and I was writing the column and they were like, "YOU HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT US!" "Please write about us!" >> Would you ever do that? >> So, I did
I changed their name and they had like these funny stories
Like it was so much worse being 25 and single than being 35 and single. >> Really? >> Yes
Um I mean because they I mean they just had like the worst dating adventures and then one guy brought a baby bunny and put it on one of the girls couches and it peed. >> An actual baby bunny. >> Yes, and that was like one of the stories that was in there
I was like this is so it's so New York and it's such a like New York guy kind of thing [laughter] you know, at that time and [clears throat] and then they ended up in you know, an episode of Sex in the City
It was like Valley of the 20-something girls when they they were supposed to go to the Hamptons
It was really Staten Island because I was on the set that day and I was like why? Why Staten Island? Why not the Hamptons? It's like it's too far
It has to be within an hour. >> [laughter] >> Oh my goodness
Okay, so now I want to are you familiar with BookTok? I'm going to start there. >> Do you know No, I don't look at it. >> Okay. >> Because and the reason why I don't look at it, it's like you know, looking at what people write on Amazon
It's like I don't want to get that feeling of like >> Yeah. >> Oh, you hate me. >> [laughter and gasps] >> Oh, you hate me. >> Well, cuz I want to make an argument because that's kind of how I got into reading
Wasn't necessarily through BookTok
I I'll make this short, but my uncle very into reading
I you know, read like I was forced to read when I was in you know, middle school and high school, but it wasn't like a passion of mine
And then I had COVID in this was in 2020, I believe
I was locked in my apartment in New York City
I was like you know, I have nothing better to do
Let me pick up this book
Picked up a book, was obsessed with it
That's boom, how this baby was born
And maybe a year later I got introduced to BookTok and now I want to make an argument because I think majority of like the kind of like New York City single girl in the city aesthetic is honestly and transparently inspired by Sex and the City
Do you find that flattering or do you kind of like like like what's the word? Like not pay attention to it? >> Oh
I think it's totally flattering. >> Aw. >> And and you know, I don't look at BookTok because I'm afraid I'm going to see like someone's going to be like, "I hate Sex and the City
It's not It's like, "Okay, can you just like take it for you know as an wonderful like artifact of the time?" Um but I think it's fantastic that people are talking about books and have a passion for books and and for reading
It's you know, it's fantastic
And and also you know over the years so many young women have come up to me and said that you know, Sex and the City gave them a different way to think or really helped them at a difficult time in their life and that's to me that's really the best thing >> Yeah. >> about it is that it's touched so many people's lives in a positive way. >> Mhm
But I also think the themes that you go over within the book and even the show, it's like a lot of girls especially if you live in New York City you can really nichely relate to because a lot of the story times you have, like I was talking about earlier, they're very real and they're very prominent in the industry or even if you just live in New York City and you're single, it's like yeah, you might have a guy that's going to come over and bring a bunny to your house and it's going to pee or a lot of like the mishaps where it's like I don't know, all the different funny things that you hit, it's like yeah, they're very out there but like you're talking about you're the only I mean author that I've really seen that doesn't make it so like picture-perfect, like cookie-cutter
It's like, "No, this [ __ ] actually really happens." >> Yes, but that I mean, to me that's always been one of the most interesting things about New York City is that it's People come here to make it
You don't come here to be like, "Oh, I'm going to be a loser." >> [laughter] >> No
People come here to make it, so they're already aspirational and ambitious
And and that sets a a certain um tone
And you know, when you know, New York was really Manhattan, it was like everybody's on this tiny island, so there was, you know, a real like New York sense of humor that was very cynical and dark
Like even in the first piece that I wrote, which was called how to act in a disco, there was this it and I have this in my show
Like, notice the New York City cynicism, if somebody dies, ignore them
And that was >> [laughter] >> I can't tell you how many people said that to me
They were like, "Oh god, Don, if somebody dies, ignore them, really." >> Was that like a saying? >> Yes. >> Wow. >> [snorts] >> You know, I mean, that was like that was New York
Of course, that was 40 years ago, 40 or 50 years ago
I'm old. >> Do you think if you were to write Sex and the City now, like currently, how would you write it? Would you still try to publish it like in a magazine, like a column in a specific magazine, or would you do like a Substack, or do you think you would post like on BookTok? Like what do you think how do you think you would arrange it? >> I you know, I I don't know
I don't know
I do think that you know, maybe it would be on social media and I but I feel like so many people do that and when I look at social media one of the things that I'm always struck by is how amazingly creative and talented people are out there
Like so many people have like these talents
They can dance, they can you know, they speak, they write things, they shoot things
It's like wow. >> I agree. >> Um it's kind of amazing
So I you know I don't I don't know
I don't know
I mean I it you know, writing worked for me
I mean I would say for me like I I feel like if you're good on social media, it's like it's like a gift
It's like being good you know, like being good on TV
There's just something about like the way you look that works. >> Interesting
Well, kind of going back to our conversation earlier with the column of column of it all and me asking if you think that's still prevalent with social media
Like I also think yes with that because I don't have a column but I in my world I have like a TikTok account where I post like story times and the most random things will happen to me and when I was younger I used to be way more transparent on social media in a sense of like crazy that would happen to me and I'd be like, "Hey guys, I'm in Barcelona and this random guy came up to me on a moped and asked me out on a date and I'm going on a date tonight so I'll keep you updated." Was it like the smartest thing in the world for me to like hop on the back of this guy's moped and go on a date with him? No, but I did it because I was 19 and I was like, who cares? >> That's an >> [laughter] >> idea
I actually did that when I was like 37. >> [laughter] >> Okay, so >> [gasps] >> But I think like your version of a column, it's like a lot of women can share that experience but on Tik Tok and like you're saying like you were 4U page is a lot of just like crazy dating stories and honestly a lot of my free pages that too right now and I like that you can kind of see other people's relationships and how they kind of do their dynamics and kind of like apply it to yours or you can live vicariously through them. >> Yes
Well, I'm always I mean, ever since I was like actually a little kid, I've always been interested in other people's relationships
I've always been interested in like that human interaction and why somebody is with somebody else and and um, you know, I have all these theories about it, but I've always been interested in it and and I'm still interested in it to some extent even though I'm like, um, I don't think I'm going to do anymore
I don't know if I want to do anymore dating
Like [laughter] it's like, what's the point? >> So now we're going to switch topics into your one-woman show because you just performed in Paris. >> Yes. >> How is it like getting on stage and doing that by yourself and explaining your story to other people? >> Well, it's actually a show that there's like shoes all over the stage and and so it's it's it's me talking, but it's also I do like little vignettes and like I talk on the phone and um so I guess at the beginning I mean first of all I didn't I had no idea what it was going to be and we developed it at Bucks County Playhouse and and they said you have to wear Spanx I was like I'm not wearing Spanx >> [laughter] >> and then and you have to have a microphone on your head I was like >> Like the one that comes here like the one that comes here? >> No one that comes here eventually I got one that comes here that travels like everywhere but I was like I'm not putting on a mic like what who am I what am what you know what am I doing and they and they said you have to do it and it's the show is choreographed um and we had a director and and it was at one time it was pretty long I had like costume changes on stage um and I did it I started doing it at the Daryl Roth theater which is an off-Broadway theater [clears throat] and so it was really something that like it was never in my what's that expression it was never on my bingo card >> [gasps] [laughter] >> They actually >> you know I'm I'm going to be on stage and I was when I first did it I think I was like 62 >> Wow >> so >> Were you nervous the first time? >> no that's the thing that's strange about it is that I feel I feel very comfortable on stage and in some ways I feel like oh I would do things on stage that I wouldn't do in real life >> I'm like that when in front of the camera it's kind of like a different part of you comes out. >> Yes. >> a different like inner body
I like that I like that emotion
I feel like a lot of my friends don't love being in front of the camera and it makes them very anxious and very like kind of curl up into a ball and I'm like, "Girl, I shine in front of it
I love [laughter] it." >> Yes. >> A different part of my personality comes out. >> Exactly
Well, you know what? That's what I think writing is like for me
I feel like I can you know sort of do things or you know, be somebody that you can't be in real life and for you it's the camera which is amazing
And um you know, and then I guess like on stage. >> Mhm
What's your favorite part of the show so far? >> [sighs and gasps] >> Um well, my favorite part is there's one part where there's this game real or not real because there are a lot of things that happened on the TV show that actually happened in my real life, but they're better or worse. >> Wait, can you give us some of those? I want to know. >> Well, one of they're mostly have to do with guys who Harry dated. >> Okay
Like she went out with a senator. >> Mhm. >> Guess what? I went out with a senator, but it was Al D'Amato
Okay? And my Italian grandmother did love him. >> Mhm. >> But and you know, we were caught like going to Palm Beach of all places like and this was back >> [gasps] >> in like the late '90s
So, it wasn't chic to be going there, but whatever. >> Oh my gosh. >> But he didn't pee on me
So, when I saw that in the TV series, I was like, "Oh, no
Oh, no
Al D'Amato who is actually he was such a fun person
He was like, he's going to think everyone's going to think like he's a people but so so that's not true
So then I'm like, okay, my version's better
And then [clears throat] I don't know if you remember the Calvin Klein underwear model who was in episode two. >> Yeah. >> So then the question is did I did I have sex with him? >> Mhm. >> And then the answer is no because I had sex with this Calvin Klein underwear model instead
I had point to Michael Bergin
And he's like >> That's so funny
And so how old were you when you were having all these situations? Were you Carrie's age or were you younger? >> I I was I I I think I was like 33 or 34 when I started writing the column
And then we started doing the show in 19 19 No, 1997 they shot the pilot
And I think that Sarah Jessica Parker's like 6 years younger. >> Okay, but sameish vibes
Huh
Wow. >> And then a year later HBO was like, we're going to go to series. >> So obviously Sex and the City still on HBO
What's it like for people like Gen Z people to re or not rediscover but discover Sex and the City for the first time since it's been out for almost 30 years, 20 26 20 almost 30 years
What's it like to have like a new generation discovering it? >> But well, I think it's great, obviously and it and it's fantastic, but it really seems to be a coming of age kind of thing
It's something that And and I noticed like when the DVDs came out, there was also a group of, you know, they were young women usually when they go to college because they're in a dorm, they're making new friends, and it's like, "Hey, let's watch something together." And they watch Sex and the City
And they relate to it
Um and it it tends to be, I think, eye-opening because it gives them a different perspective on how they can live their lives
Like they don't have to go and find a guy, you know, maybe they don't have to be under so much pressure to get married and have kids. >> Cuz I >> Maybe it's okay to be single and have your girlfriends and and you know, be self-actualized. >> Mhm
Which I think is a very it's a really cute show to watch with your friends because you see almost like the love dynamic between the four of them, and it's just such an it's an aspirational thing
It's like everyone wants to have a little friend group like that
And sometimes it's hard with like, you know, everyone's jobs, but I really appreciated that it's like yes, it follows all their different love lives, but at the core of it, it's like them four, and they're going to a cafe, and they're talking [ __ ] about this boy or this situation that that that's happened or whatnot
If you had to give Gen Z like a piece of advice in like a dating realm, what would you give [clears throat] them? >> Okay, this is so bad. >> [laughter] >> And I've said this so many times, and it's really kind of a joke
I mean, it is a joke, but I there's just a part of me that wants to say, "Don't bother." >> [gasps] >> Like >> Don't bother. >> Don't bother
Like what are you going to Um I you know, and people always say like, "What would you say to yourself if you were like in your 20s?" And I always say the same thing
What I would have said to myself was get the money
Like, you know, explore that ambitious side of yourself that when I was in my 20s, it was no, no, no, no, no
And even the idea of a woman making her own money and buying your own house was that was like not a even a possibility
So, those are the things that I would say to my myself
And and I mean relationships can be great
The problem is that the wrong relationship can really derail you
And there's so many young women who feel like, "Oh, I just picked the wrong person." No, that's not true
You don't pick the wrong person
That's what the majority of men are like. >> [snorts] >> That's I mean >> Mhm. >> Do you know, they're >> [sighs] >> I You know, I've been interviewing men for a long time
And one of the things that I know for sure is that on a list of importance men's list of importance and women's list of importance is very different
Women will list a relationship as number one importance
You know, children, my my friends
And for a man, the number one thing is you know, himself, maybe sex, his job, and a relationship, if you're lucky, is number five on the list
And I've always thought um you know, this is one of the inherent problems with relationships is that people have you know, these two with heterosexual relationships men and women have rather different goals and different senses of importance
Um and I think that that that makes it a little bit difficult and I feel like women have changed a lot and men really haven't
No offense to any of the men here. >> [laughter] >> You guys are fantastic, I'm sure. >> No, but I I I really I thoroughly agree with this because I think women put especially in my generation, we feel like men can give us something that we can't give ourselves, but if you take a moment to like stand back and be like, well, nowadays with influencers and with this like generation of models and whatnot, we can actually give ourselves a a lifestyle that you used to have to rely for a man to give you and that's why I think and I find being an influencer and a content creator like so empowering because I'm like, well, we can be 18, 19, 20 and we can be making millions of dollars and you can't really do that in any other career besides being like a doctor or a lawyer, but like even then you're in a residency for 10 years and >> And you're going to have a huge amount of debt. >> Yeah, and because Mhm
And I feel like for the first time we're seeing this like rise of like trophy boyfriends where it's like the girl's the breadwinner and the guy just like comes to the brand trips or comes and takes the pictures of his >> Okay, I'm so into that idea
That is like my new kind of thing and I'm trying to figure hear out, but you know, there is a lot of there's a lot of shaming around a woman who is hey, you know what? I'm with this guy because I just really like him and we get along great and maybe he makes less money than I do or he's, you know, not as prominent as I am or, you know, when we go to a party, I'm on the red carpet and he isn't
But there's there's still a lot of like, oh, you know, negativity around that and I don't think it should be that way. >> completely agree because like even this is a niche reference, but you'll you'll understand it cuz you're literally the author, but in when Miranda has the one episode where she's getting like quote unquote punished because she's the successful one where she's dealing with Steve because Steve doesn't want to let her buy let her buy him the suits
But I feel like if it was roles reversed and a man wanted to buy you a dress, you wouldn't even think twice about it
You'd be like, oh, he's such a gentleman
But if a female wants to buy you something, it's kind of viewed as like a negative of like, oh, I don't need you to buy it
I feel like men get very offended when you offer to pay for things and especially with like the what we're talking about um like I one time dated this guy who there would be points in time where he would get very insecure where, you know, if we'd go to a dinner and like I would pay for it because he would be like, that's taking away from my masculinity
And I'm like, well, if you paid for it, it wouldn't take away from my feminine like I wouldn't take it that way
So, I think it's an interesting dynamic between men and women and the dating dynamics and Yes, I mean, I feel like that is something that really needs to change because I know so many as I'm sure you too
You know, so many great young women
And this is really the initial question of Sex and the City
Why are there so Why are there so many great women in New York and no great guys to marry them? And you know, that's really the question that starts off the whole series
And that's the question that is starts the book
And you know, it's like if women didn't have these narrow parameters of who was acceptable, it would probably be, you know, better for everybody. >> I agree
I feel like >> You know, there's just so many women they're like, I you know, I can't find a guy
Well, you Yeah, you can't find a guy who's 6 ft tall and has all his hair and, you know, is 2 years older and, you know makes a couple million a year. >> Mhm
I agree
I mean, I thoroughly agree
I think we I think men have really low expectations and I think women have really high expectations and that's like the gap between it
And like even for my personal friends, they always ask me to set them up with people
And I'm like, well, what's your type? And then they give me a whole list of things
And I'm like, well, the likelihood of me finding this very specific type of person is not high
I don't have a friend who's a 6'4 Italian, has blue eyes, um has a rocking body, makes a lot of money
I'm like, I don't have just a list of guys that look like that in my phone
I was like, I'm so sorry
Or even girls, like guys would come up to me and be like, set me up with one of your friends
And I'm like, well, are you okay with a girl that makes more money than you and travels a lot for work and nine times out of 10 they say no
And one of my best friends, she um her and her boyfriend were dating for 3 years
And then she started in this industry, she, you you had her huge moment
And they inevitably broke up because he was too insecure with himself because he couldn't deal with her making money
And not that she she was making more money than him, she just couldn't deal with him with her not needing him
And I find that very interesting because men want an an independent girl until they have an independent girl and they have to um deal with it
And it's like, well, no, I don't need I don't need to come to this trip with you because I'm going on another trip with my friends and men get really weird about that nowadays
So, I find that interesting. >> Well, that's also something that >> Mhm. >> that's been around >> Yeah. >> for a while, too
Like the Yes, men say they want an independent woman until >> it
They don't want it
Thank you so much for coming on. >> I had a fantastic >> Fantastic
This has been so much fun. >> Thank you
I feel like I learned a lot
Well, I I just can't get over the fact that I'm interviewing right you right now
Like this is Sex and the City has like literally altered my brain chemistry in so many different ways and I see myself
Oh my gosh, wait, really quick before you go
Who do you think you embody the most currently at this stage or this era of your life? Which of the four characters? >> You know, I don't really know how to answer that question
I mean, I feel like I'm still a version of Carrie Bradshaw, but the Carrie Bradshaw, you know, from the book and then, you know, it's a sort of you know, every girl in a sense. >> Okay, well, that is it for this week's episode of Booked on Busy where where we talk all about Sex and the City by Miss Candace Bushnell
Don't forget to leave us a review wherever you're listening and watching and also don't forget to join the Patreon because that's where we get really into the books and we'll also be dropping the next book of the month very soon and you definitely don't want to miss that
Okay, love you
Bye. >> [music] [music]
